We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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