you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
