remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
