Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
