dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
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I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hippo gnu deer
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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