on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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