but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
