elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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