is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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