He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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