i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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