12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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