I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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