question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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