It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
