the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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