i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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