the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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