this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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