HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
