actually, I'm a sock model
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
