lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
