How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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