So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
