69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
