It's Friday. Sex?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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