I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
BRING THE BAGELS
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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