I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
