please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
