Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
