woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you inspire me to be a worse person
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
