yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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