A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
