Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
