I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
