well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
two words...techno handjob
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
