Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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