i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
