I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
