bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
