I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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