The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
