I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize