I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
