handjob tips. give me some.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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