I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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