I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
