Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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