Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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