lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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