were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
