No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
