The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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