Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
