is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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