It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
