Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
