I got chris browned last night
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
