Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
