I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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