There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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