i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
