Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
