I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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