Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Vodka?
Forever.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
