I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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