would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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