Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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