True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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